Episodes

After briefly mentioning it on last week's episode, Kurt and Steve quickly learned that most have a lot of "feelings about" the urban phenomena, RBF (otherwise known as Resting Bitch Face). So they dived in a little more and wouldn't you know it...there's an actual website that will tell you if you have it! All we ask is that if you do, you send us your picture to maximizeyourinfluence@gmail.com. We want to see what RBF looks like! Ingratiation: Make Others Feel Important Ingratiation is gainin...

The worst thing for a persuader is that your audience members probably won’t ever confront you about your dishonesty or deception. They are not going to tell you that they think you are lying. They’ll just never work with you again and they’ll then tell all their family and friends about the bad experience they had with you behind your back. Even if you’re an honest person of admirable character, it is human nature for people to cast sweeping judgments and formulate opinions without all the fac...

self-perception bias Ever wonder why others can’t smell their own stink? (perfume or body order) We are good at judging others and finding out what is wrong with them, but that analysis does not seem to work on ourselves. The same is true for our skills. We have to have the ability to honestly access ourselves – both our strengths and weaknesses. Then find the skills and the discipline to improve our faults. We always will feel we must gloss over our weaknesses to make things seem better than th...

Keeping Attention: A Bored Mind Says NO! It is common sense to realize you have to keep your audience's attention in order to persuade them. If you lose them, you lose your chance for them to understand and accept your proposal. We know from our own personal experience that we tend to let our minds naturally drift when we are listening to other people. We cannot focus on one item for too long unless we are forced to do so. Master Persuaders can make a person want to pay attention and stay focus...

The old-school approach to persuasion put a lot of the emphasis on the final outcome: clinching the deal, closing the sale. Back then, it was a lot more about getting the sale than having a true and lasting relationship with an actual person. The problem with being so closing-oriented is that a persuasive encounter is not a static, one-sided arrangement. The “persuadee” is not some brainless lump who will unquestioningly accept everything you say. They are living, breathing human beings, which m...

This week's article is sure to offend some listeners. If you're a short man or an overweight woman, the British Medical Journal has bad news for you. Hey were just the messenger! Check out their recent study linking hight, body mass, and socio-economic status. "Price is what you pay. Value is what you get." -Warren Buffett The Law of Contrast explains how we are affected when we are introduced to two different alternatives or options in succession. We know that contrasting two alternatives can...

All human beings yearn for direction and guidance. That’s why someone with a vision is so alluring and influential to us. Charismatics are able to create a strong clear vision of the future. People will jump on board when they can see that there is a solid vivid vision in place that they can touch, taste, feel, or see. No one wants to get on a sinking ship. People want to know: What’s the plan? Where are we going? What are we aiming for? Your goal is to powerfully present how your vision is the ...

Have you noticed the dramatic changes that have evolved in presentations, communication, and training over the last twenty years? The basic focus used to be on education. Many people are still trying to educate and they always lose their audiences. Now, the latest research is all about how to grab and keep your audience’s attention, while maintaining charisma. We can no longer focus simply on educating; we must now entertain and influence. We must keep our audiences attention. We must be charism...

On episode 127 of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve start by discussing a recent article, the 7 Mental Blocks to Being Rich. They then transition to part two of their series on qualities of great leaders. Intuition is a big part of your future success. Intuition helps you read and understand people. It comes in an instant and we have to be ready to act simultaneously. Some call it a hunch, gut reaction or a feeling. Intuition is real and can be harnessed to increase your ability to influe...

After speculating about good dining in San Francisco and briefly insulting their listeners there, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article about whether great leaders are born or made. They then launch into a discussion about the qualities of good leaders. People who know where they are going are able captivate, are passionate and are charismatic. You can tell when you meet them and when they enter a room. People are drawn to them because deep down people want to be passionate about something an...

One of the aspects of the Law of Association is the use of affiliation. Persuaders want you to affiliate their company with positive images, feelings, and attitudes. Our surroundings and environment trigger feelings and we transfer those feelings to those we are with. For example, one frequently used technique is to take someone to lunch. Food can also generate subconscious triggers (if the food and company are good). The studies show that subjects like people better when they were eating. Food ...

Neuroscientists have made significant progress on how the brain processes information. Our brain can be very bias. This is especially true in politics. People will always see the good in their party and find the bad in the other. During an election a scientist asked questions about their candidate and the candidate from the other side while getting an MRI. When they were told information about their candidate that caused dissonance, the logical side of their brain would shut down and they could ...

The Power of "Yes" Use questions that will create "yeses." As you create your marketing and persuasive presentations, you must engineer the number of times you get your audience to raise their hands, say yes, or nod their heads. How many verbal yeses are you getting? One easy and effective way to get more affirmative responses is to engineer questions that will receive a positive answer. For example, when a word ends in "n't" it will usually bring a "yes" response. Obviously this technique won’t...

Methods of Protecting Mental Alignment When we feel dissonance, we have to find a way to deal with the psychological tension. When the rubber band stretches, we cannot not live with this internal pressure. We will instantly try to find a way to relieve this tension and reduce our dissonance. We have an arsenal of coping mechanisms at our disposal to help us return to cognitive balance. When you see your prospect exhibit one of these behaviors (except modify) you have stretched the rubber band to...

The Theory of Cognitive Dissonance Leon Festinger formulated the cognitive dissonance theory at Stanford University. He asserted, "When attitudes or beliefs conflict with our actions, we are uncomfortable and motivated to try to change." Festinger's theory sets the foundation for the Law of Dissonance. The Law of Dissonance proves that people will naturally act in a manner that is consistent with their cognitions. What is a cognition? Our cognitions is a mental process that uses thoughts, belie...

We are firm believers that we all have greatness within us. We believe that we each have within ourselves unwritten books, un-started businesses, brilliant ideas, great inventions, charitable ideas, and untapped energies. But sometimes we have a hard time knowing exactly what our purpose is. We may fill many roles—husband or wife, father or mother, school board member, coach, employee, or community advocate. How do we know which roles will give us the greatest joy and satisfaction? First and for...

The Hostile Prospect This person disagrees with you and may even actively work against you. For a hostile prospect, use these techniques: Find common beliefs and establish a common ground. Use appropriate humor to break the ice. Don't start the presentation with an attack on their position. You are only trying to persuade on one point; don't talk about anything else that could trigger disagreement. Because of your differences, they will question your credibility. Increase your credibility w...

Have you ever noticed how some people can captivate, inspire, and influence others without effort? Other people instantly like them and want to be around them. Some individuals can enter a room and everyone notices. They seem always to get what they want because the people around them want to give it to them. How do they command such instant attention and influence everyone they meet? This is the power of charisma. Charisma is a vital persuasion and life skill that can and must be mastered if y...

Humor can be a powerful tool to create rapport. Humor makes the persuader seem more friendly and accepting. Humor helps gain attention, helps you create rapport, and makes your message more memorable. It can relieve tension, enhance relationships, and motivate people. Appropriate use of humor increases trust in your audience. Humor can also distract your audience from negative arguments or grab their attention if they are not listening. Humor diverts attention away from the negative context of ...

Social Validation and Marketing The more a brand is advertised, the more popular and familiar it is perceived to be. We as consumers somehow infer that something is popular simply because it is advertised. When people are buying gifts for others, social proof is one of the most effective techniques that a salesclerk can use." Many salespeople find great success in telling clients that a particular product is their "best-selling" or "most popular" on hand because social validation increases thei...

Your environment and the expectations of that environment should be persuasive. There is a concept called the Phillip Zimbado’s Broken Window Theory. This theory suggests that a building full of broken windows will cause people to assume that no one cares for the building or its appearance. This in turn will spur more vandalism and more broken windows. In other words, the environment's condition gives suggestions that lead people to hold certain assumptions, and people then act on those assumpti...

Touch is another powerful part of body language—important enough to devote a whole section to it alone. Touch can be a very effective psychological technique. Subconsciously, most of us like to be touched; it makes us feel appreciated and builds rapport. It is true, though, that we do need to be aware and careful of a small percentage of the population who dislikes being touched in any way. In most instances, however, touch can help put people at ease and make them more receptive to you and your...

To maintain order of the world, our brains link objects, gestures, and symbols with our feelings, memories, and life experiences. We mentally associate ourselves with such things as sights, sounds, colors, music, and symbols. These associations create quick subconscious triggers. The feelings you generate can help or hurt your ability to persuade. Power Persuaders take advantage of association triggers to evoke positive feelings and thoughts that correspond with the message they are trying to c...

The Law of Scarcity plays a large role in the persuasion process. Opportunities are always more valuable and exciting when they are scarce and less available. We want to be the ones to own the rare items or to get the last widget on the shelf. The more the scarcity of an item increases, the more the item increases in value, and the greater the urge to own it. Whenever choice is limited or threatened, the human need to maintain a share of the limited commodity makes us crave it even more. Scarci...