Episodes

Want to negotiation tips from a FBI hostage negotiator? What negotiation tools are working? Which tools lost the value? Listen to this interview with Chris Voss. Meet Chris: Prior to 2008, Chris was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group. During his government career, he also represented the U.S. Government at two (2) international con...

How do you get a raise? How do you strategically negotiate a raise to earn what you are worth? Or is it better to persuade? What is the difference between the two? Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party ends up adopting your point of view. With persuasion, there is no compromising, as there is in negotiation. Rather, the other party willfully and enthusiastically abandons their position to embrace yours. The other party clearly sees the gains and advantages of ...

Of all the tools in your persuasion toolbox, questioning is probably the one most often used by Power Persuaders. Questions are used in the persuasion process to create mental involvement, to guide the conversation and to find out what your prospect needs. Questioning is a very diverse and useful tool. An important study observed hundreds of negotiators in action in an attempt to discover what it takes to be a top negotiator. Their key finding was that skilled negotiators ask more than twice as ...

What is NLP? Neuro-linguistic programming, or “NLP” as it is called today, is a very interesting science. NLP was first developed by UC Santa Cruz professor John Grinder and graduate student Richard Bandler. Its basic premise is that one’s thought patterns, beliefs and attitudes can be used to “preprogram” actual experiences that are yet to happen. NLP is very focused on how we think, what influences the way we think, and how we structure what we think. Subscribers to the science are encourage...

Mind Control and Expectations We communicate our expectations in a variety of ways. It may be through our language, our word choice, voice inflections, or our body language. Think of a time when you've been introduced to someone. Usually, if they introduce themselves by their first name, then you do the same. If they give their first and last name, you do likewise. Whether you realize it or not, you accept cues from others regarding their expectations and you act accordingly. Similarly, we all ...

The psychological edge gained by top persuaders cannot be overemphasized. How do great persuaders prepare their minds for success? What is their mental process before, during, and after the persuasion cycle? This mental aspect is one of the most important (and usually neglected) traits of success. Almost everyone wants to accomplish their dreams, achieve more, become a better person, or pursue bigger and better goals. And we often know exactly what we need to do to make these things happen. So ...

There are only two things that motivate us in life: inspiration and desperation. We either move toward that which inspires us, or we move away from that which fills us with despair or discomfort. Most people only use desperation’s motivational energy. Any persuader can motivate an audience with desperation, fear, and worry. The problem is that motivation spurred by desperation does not last. People who are moved by desperation or fear are typically so preoccupied with what they’re trying to get...

Life Alignment When we look at life, we have to realize that it is not lived in segments, but rather, it is part of a greater whole. Every aspect of your life will either help or hurt the rest of your life. Our aim is to get all aspects working together to create a high-performing fund. Realize, however, that you can invest too much in one aspect of your life. When you do, you can get unbalanced just like a tire on a car. Even too much of a good thing can lead to disaster. As you invest in your...

Getting Over That Slump (personal or team) Anytime you’re in a leadership position, you are faced with the question of how best to motivate yourself and those who work under you. There are countless philosophies and ideas out there, all claiming to be exactly what you need. The truth is, there is no one perfect answer. What works at one time will not always work the next time. There are team dynamics that you must always be in tune with. This Type of Exercise May Help Relieve Depression For exa...

We usually explore the obstacles and mistakes in the world of average persuaders. Now I want to look at the flip side. We'll look inside your audience's mind and reveal all the things that Advanced Influence research tells us "persuadees" love about their persuaders. You will notice that some of these qualities are emotion-based. You made your audience feel good about themselves or comfortable about you. There's nothing here about price, quality, or warranties. These traits keep the brick wall o...

The worst time to learn a sales skill is when you need it. Persuasion and sales must be mastered before it is needed, or the opportunity is lost forever. In all the years that I have worked in persuasion, sales, influence, and leadership, I have never yet found a perfect persuader (especially me). I have met many very skilled persuaders, but none that have completely mastered all that they were capable of achieving. This is understandable. It's demanding enough just to keep up with the bills, m...

Persuasion Vomit (Data Dump) Many times, when we are trying to be persuasive, we want to highlight all the perks and plusses. It's only natural. Wouldn't helping someone see the potential gains of your product or service be a good thing? Yes, but here is the issue: Your audience will buy for their own reasons and only their reasons. They don't care about why you like the product or service. They don't care how much you know about it—don’t bury them in detail. The more you spout off about featur...

Psychological Power: The Mind Game Psychological Power is the ability people have to influence you while disguising their true intentions. People who are adept at using Psychological Power seek to alter another individual’s perceptions. Two (the other 10 are on the podcast) of the most common Psychological Power techniques are outlined below. # 1: Time Pressure People are slow at making decisions because they’re afraid of making mistakes. Negotiators hate to leave deals open-ended too long bec...

Anger is a secondary emotion. A prospect's anger is usually an indicator that something else is askew and that he needs or wants attention. When we are angry – we want attention or action now. You can assist in diminishing his anger by determining the key issue he is upset about. It is also often effective to ask for his help, opinions, or advice. This will usually diffuse his anger or even change his attitude and demeanor completely. In some circumstances, you may want to use anger to make a c...

The Brick Wall of Resistance Has this ever happened to you? You enter a retail store and you're approached by a sharply dressed persuader. You are interested in buying, but the salesperson is a little aggressive. You get an alarming feeling in the pit of your stomach and then do what many of your customers do to you. You lie! You say, "I'm just looking; I'll come back later," or "It's too expensive," or "I have to talk to my spouse before I decide." What you're really thinking is "I don't like ...

Many times, when we are trying to be persuasive, we want to highlight all the perks and plusses. It's only natural. Wouldn't helping someone see the potential gains of your product or service be a good thing? Yes, but here is the issue: Your audience will buy for their own reasons and only their reasons. They don't care about why you like the product or service. They don't care how much you know about it—don’t bury them in detail. The more you spout off about features, the more your audience men...

Great persuaders are congrooent, but what is congrooence? When things match, we don’t notice, but if something seems off, it grabs our attention either consciously or subconsciously. Just like the misspellings in the first sentence of this paragraph. You noticed it and your mind told you something was wrong with that word. Congruence is when your words match your actions. Agreement and harmony between what you say and what you do are paramount to instilling trust in those you work with. The more...

You have to be careful in how you explain and exhibit your credibility. If you launch into a laundry list of your accomplishments or of your education and titles, you might be perceived as a self-centered. Take advantage of less direct or less self-proclaiming ways to show your audience how competent you are. For example, you can hang your degrees on the wall, have someone else give a brief bio, or have someone else offer his recommendation of you. You can borrow credibility from others using a...

Does confidence affect your ability to persuade? The answer is a resounding yes. It is important that you do not come across as cocky or arrogant. How can you tell the difference? It’s all about the intention. Confidence is motivated by a sincere desire to serve—you can help make a difference, and you know you can do a great job. You know that you have the tools, resources, ability, and inclination to do the job that’s required of you. In contrast, cockiness is driven by a need to serve yourself...

Competence is your knowledge and ability in a particular subject area. True competence comes from lifelong learning and experience. Competency exists on many levels. When we are observing someone from a distance, or when we are meeting them for the first time and our experience with them is very limited, we subconsciously perceive and assign them a certain competency level. These assumptions are usually based on external things, such as their title, their position, their height, how they dress, ...

Character is the combination of qualities that distinguishes one person from another. These qualities make up who you are on the inside—not the external front you may sometimes put up. Who are you, really? What do you do when no one is watching, when there is no one to impress? How do you treat people when you don’t need something from them? Character is also made up of such qualities as integrity, honesty, sincerity, and predictability. I consider solid character to be at the very foundation o...

Whenever someone tries to influence us, in our minds we ask ourselves, “Can I trust this person? Do I believe him? Is she really concerned about me?” We are less likely to be influenced if we sense that the person trying to persuade us is driven solely by self-interest. Trust is the glue that holds the entire persuasion process together. Trust is created when you put your audience’s interests and wants before your own. Many times trust comes when your audience feels you are predictable. For som...

The more a brand is advertised, the more popular and familiar it is perceived to be. We as consumers somehow infer that something is popular simply because it is advertised. When people are buying gifts for others, social proof is one of the most effective techniques that a salesclerk can use." Many salespeople find great success in telling clients that a particular product is their "best-selling" or "most popular" on hand because social validation increases their credibility of the product. Wh...

Competence is your knowledge and ability in a particular subject area. True competence comes from lifelong learning and experience. Competency exists on many levels. When we are observing someone from a distance, or when we are meeting them for the first time and our experience with them is very limited, we subconsciously perceive and assign them a certain competency level. These assumptions are usually based on external things, such as their title, their position, their height, how they dress,...